Ever since I first started waking up I was hearing about mirroring, and mirrors, relationships being mirrors…., and how other people are mirrors for us, and our relationships are mirrors of what is happening within. Some call this the "Law of Reflection". I essentially have been working with this universal principal and concept for at least 15 years, and after all that time it is becoming really real for me because of my level of awareness of unity consciousness, and of oneness, and my ability to really feel another person, and see how they see. At least from the perspective that I have had similar patterns and saw through the eyes of that pattern myself and might still do to some degree, but am beyond it now. My ego may still see that way, but I do not, and I am the primary seer and controler now, not my separate orientation of self.
This realization of the law of reflection and the mirror of another person, became so acutely real for me as I became involved in a relationship with someone who projected a lot of enlightened stuff, but underneath was a whole other kettle of fish. In other words, what she was really projecting was a lot of illusion, even though it appeared to be the truth. I totally got what my unconscious wanted to see. I got a relationship that was very disconnected from real communication, real emotion, real truth, and real intimacy, because I was deluded by my own wounds, her projections (from her wounds) and my desire to believe them.
My wounds wanted recognition, honor, respect, love, admiration, to be desired…, basic proof of my worth. Because of her own self worth issues, and her inability to receive love, recognize love and subsequent inability to give love, I was never able to get what my wounds/ego wanted. So because I am not totally ruled by desires to receive, (to prove my worth), and I am also connected to true reality, true oneness, and true love, I was able to see her patterns, wounds etc., and know that it wasn't personal. She didn't really dishonor me; didn't really not love me; didn't really not desire me for any personal reasons, (as if I am not worth being honored, loved and desired); she was just unable to receive love, see love, and give love; so she was unable to desire truly, to love, and to really honor my magnificence. You cannot love honor and respect others if you cannot do so for yourself.
So I had a perfect reflection of my own desires for these things for me by me, or for me by my Spirit, I Am Presence, who I as personality feel separate from. I was essentially forced to love myself rather than rely upon someone else to do it for me. Her inability to honor me, respect me, love me and basically see how totally wonderful I am, (because of her inability to realize those things for herself), forced me to look at myself from outside of myself and wonder what is wrong with me. I now know that there isn’t any thing wrong with me and that I am totally awesome. I manifested her to show me what aspects of my self did not realize their love. I was forced to really honor and respect myself; to desire myself; to love myself; to really really look at myself, and know that I am totally perfect. If other people cannot see that then that is their problem, or there is something left in me that does not want others to love me.
So if I take care of all of my stuff, then all that is left is theirs. If I am with someone that cannot take full responsibility for their own reality, manifestations, and denials…, then I must sever my relationship with them, because there is no forward movement, no centeredness, no true reality in the moment. Because if someone is not committed to true reality, then they are committed to fantasies and illusions, to denial rather then revelation.
So we really do provide awesome mirrors for each other. We will always manifest relationships that reflect back to us our love, our divinity, our beauty, our light; and our wounds of separation, our denials, our illusions, our fantasies, our darkness…
So be grateful to your mirrors and the parts they are playing in your dramatic comedy of awakening. Good or bad, everyone in your life is a perfect mirror of what is left to deal with, release or acknowledge. And just like these aspects that need to be surrendered and loved, the same goes for the mirror. This is only hard because of these wounds that they are reflecting, because they hurt so bad, because they want so much attention. But the suffering is illusion, so it must be released, and those individuals that cannot release their own, you must release them from your life, just like fragmented aspects of self that you heal and release to God.
This is also part of your empowerment, because you gave your power away to these fragmented pieces of self to try to deny them and avoid your suffering. And you gave your power away wholeheartedly to your mirror (relationship partner or any other type of relationship). But you no longer do that, you no longer live your life from suffering, to avoid it, you now dive right into it to see that it is not real. You let it all go, all of your attachment to it, and you let go of all of your attachment to individuals helping you deny your suffering.
So you reclaim your power by surrounding yourself with people who take full responsibility for their reality, for their woundedness and for their divinity. People who allow themselves to be loved, and to love. People who allow themselves to realize their magnificence, and therefore recognize your magnificence and truly be able to see your essence, your love, and love you for it, because they are love, and you are love, and….
This is also how you honor yourself, by surrounding yourself with those who have the ability to honor you. And those who cannot, because they cannot yet honor themselves, you limit your interaction with them to very specific instances only, where it is synergetic to interact with them, because it serves both of you to do so.
So from this, one could say, "well, why did you get in that relationship in the first place? You’re a pretty observant master, you're connected to true reality, and have the ability to see distortions a mile away…", so what gives? Well it’s like this: those aspects of myself that still were not loved, who I was not aware of yet, who were hanging out on the edge of my light body, needed me to find out about them, and I needed a mirror to show them to me. I could not see them because their view of reality was jaded. So I had to enter their reality, their illusion and then fight my way out. In that reality there is no worth, no power, no love, so I had to find those things for me in that illusion. I had to transform that illusion into reality. So I essentially entered the relationship from those aspects that were supremely reflected by similar denied and unloved aspects within her. We evoked each other's wounds. This is the gift we offer each other in all relationships. We are mirrors of unconsciousness, to see our wounds of separation and hopefully heal them.
She had her fantasies rolling and I had mine. Very similar fantasies really, but both still fantasy, so very little true reality existed. As time went on and fantasy was revealed, depending on each individual's ability to surrender these denials and realize true reality, that is the degree to which each individual moved forward in their growth and further realization. And to the degree that each individual was then able to be intimate with self, to know more self, to love self, to honor self, to respect self.
The more illusions I released, the more committed I became to true reality and exposing the fantasies. I became more real and my desire for the relationship to become more real also increased exponentially. But as is often the case when one person is more awake then another, this commitment was not well received, because of her desires to stay in old patterns, old comforts, to pursue old passions and charges.
This is a painful situation to watch your friend run screaming back to comfortable old patterns of denial. And there is a desire to want to expose all of their wounds and patterns that are so easily seen, and push them to move forward rather than back, but if you do, more than likely you are doing this from one of your own wounds of separation, trying to get them to do the right thing, so that you can continue relating. You are trying to create some external oneness again to bandage your wounds, (which is what your fantasies and delusions were already trying to do. You are trying to keep those feelings of abandonment away, of them leaving you, or you having to leave them, so as to not feel separate from each other. But if they cannot do it, then they are just not ready, and that is it. Move on or you are not honoring yourself, and possibly abusing yourself.
The Outer Reflection of Inner Reality
We manifest people with similar wounds and patterns of denial, so in a sense, other people can only reflect to you your own stuff. So the sum total of your goodness, openness, and dark denials, manifest through others, as them and the relationships you have with them. And people can either project their stuff at you, or reflect your stuff back to you, (which is probably the same stuff, even though it may look differently), stuff which they have similarly to yours.
This law or reality of life and balance, reveals the unseen unconscious aspects of ourselves, hidden by trauma, repression, regret, pain…, suffering from this present incarnation and other past lives on this planet and others, across space time and dimension. All of these hidden aspects and fragments of soul are hidden on the edges of your light body, which is the wholeness of your I Am Presence, (or soul, and God Presence), across space time and dimension.
The law, or reality of reflection, manifests in our outer reality and our relationships, because as souls we create our entire reality to create karmic balance. In essence everything around you is a mirror of your inner reality, of all that is within, balanced, imbalanced, unity and distortion. And the more you invite the light into your life, the more darkness that is hidden is revealed, evoked and brought forward from the darkness into the light, (or is illuminated by the light).
These aspects are essentially in denial of their love and light and so are essentially shadow aspects of self. Aspects that are suffering and wounded, and wanting to be healed. They are hiding in the shadow, and the more light you shine, the more of them is revealed. They came out from the shadows, or so much light is brought in that there is no shadow any more for them to hide in.
Everything that you encounter in life that you close your heart to or judge, is some aspect of self that is hidden, in denial, wounded, suffering, or has an agreement to be a certain way, or not be a certain way. Everything that you react to in a negative or even apparently positively attached way, is something that is one of these unconscious aspects of self, a fragmented soul extension, or fragmented genetic extension, or splintered part of your personality due to some trauma or experience that caused you pain.
Because everything must balance itself, and the natural order of life in this creation of God Goddess All That Is is balance and health, these splintered aspects call to be healed, for their pain to be acknowledged and released. To do this their perception of reality manifests in our lives. So everything must essentially manifest, consciously or unconsciously. Nothing can be hidden in true reality.
So if you are not taking responsibility for all that manifests in your life, then your life will be under the control of your unconscious aspects that are crying to be healed. If you are not paying attention and dealing with your unconscious, then your life will be hell, which is how life for most people is. They try hard to control their external reality to get what they want, to somehow obtain pleasure and joy, by controling their external environment. But this does not work, because their unconsciousness is controlling their external environment, it is manifesting what is hidden and wanting to be revealed to the conscious mind and awareness.
You may have a strong desire to manifest a divine reality in your life, but your unconscious aspects are operating from a reality of limitation and this will be your primary reality. Or you will have some divinity and some limitation. Depending on the amount of cleared karma and revealed and hidden aspects of woundedness that you have healed, will determine the percentage of divinity to limitation you will have in your life.
To the degree that you accept this law that everything that has manifested in your life, was created by some aspect of your self, will determine the amount of creative control you have of your life being a reality of divinity and ecstasy. To the degree that you take care of what is revealed daily as you go through the initiations of life, will be the degree of mastery of reality and your own ascension/awakening/enlightenment process.
Forgiveness is a key ingredient, because most of these aspects are in a state of suffering, caused by some painful trauma, some experience of pain, betrayal… any list of possibilities where they have been victimized or feel like they have been a perpetrator. In either case, forgiveness is paramount for the healing. For the ones who feel victimized, healing towards self and the pain, including forgiving self for putting themselves in such a painful situation, and forgiveness of others and the situation that it experienced that has been evoked, because of something similar in your life. For the one's that feel like they are unworthy scum, because they have been a cause of other's pain and suffering, forgiveness towards self is needed, for acting from a place of separation, and denial of love, and receiving forgiveness from others for causing such painful experiences.
Gratitude is another key, especially because as the feelings of victimhood, we must release all that is blocking the memory and denial of the experiences, and get to a place of realization of the quantum spiritual and soulular growth that has been gained from the experience and from all the pain and suffering.
Once this is accomplished in a real way through an open heart and really accepting responsibility for all manifestations in life, any wounds of separation are revealed and healed, the mirror or outer reality changes permanently to reflect a permanently changed inner reality.
In the case of other people in your life and your relationships, this gives them the opportunity to love you more, and to respect you more, and honor you more, and see you as a divine being rather than a heartless bastard. Your relationships will improve and you will manifest more enlightened people. Other people that are not interested in true reality and being responsible for their wholeness will leave you or you will leave them. When aspects are healed, you have a larger percentage of self now operating within love, divinity, ecstasy and bliss, and less aspects of self operating from wounds of separation and woundedness, so the divinity quotient increases in your life.
How others act toward you is a direct reflection of how the many aspects of self feel about themselves on multidimensional levels, from a soul extension and fragmented aspect viewpoint. You will naturally manifest others with similar wounds of separation in order for the two of you to reflect each others inner pain. If others have similar wounds, they will act them out for you. They will often treat you like shit (often very subtly and sneakily, so that you think they're being nice). They will reflect those aspects of yourself that need healing and balancing, who feel like shit.
Others who are more balanced and healed, who have already been through many of the initiations that you are currently going through, who have already balanced these similar aspects of self, will not act out these limitations for you, the reflection will be more wholistic, you will be able to see your inner limited wounded aspects but probably not as vividly as someone who is similarly wounded. The healed person will assist you in a more balanced way, perhaps they will be a master you study with and who guides you through your initiations that you undertake in relationships that have similar wounds.
In the relationship I spoke of earlier, I realized that my perception of self was much more accurate then here perception of me, denoting our preponderance to looking towards others for recognition of self. In other words, if others desire me, honor me, respect me, love me, then I have those things, or I can now acknowledge those things in myself, or I can be them now. But only after they do it first. But this is an old paradigm, do it yourself first. If you wait for others to love and respect you, you may have a long wait. Who knows how long it will take before others get it together. This is a pattern of denial, a way to cop out so as to not surpass your loved ones, to keep yourself down.
This is a pattern of disempowerment, of giving your power, worth, honor, and respect away to others; in their control and under their power. They have become your gods, and you will worship them (or reject them) like gods, so they will love you, empower you, favor you, not reject you, protect you, help you survive, have prosperity...
Partners in relationships have become our gods. This is the ultimate romantic fantasy, the person you can love more than life, more than God. They are your God, and you will worship them to receive god's favor, so that you can go to heaven (the receipt of love, sex, pleasure…), because you've been good and deserve these treats.
The relationship you are having with someone is completely different to the one they are having with you. We are often deluded to think they are the same, but this is impossible because they are different to you with a different perception of reality, different biases, different aspects in separation, wounds, desires..
Taking Care of Your Own Stuff - Healing the Wounds of Separation
All true healing is within. To heal all of your wounds of separation, you must diligently take full and complete responsibility for your inner and outer reality (your manifestations). Be aware of what people are doing, but mostly as a reflection of what needs healing within you. Do not be concerned about whether other people get it or not, you can only clear your stuff not theirs. You can help them see their stuff to some degree, but mostly you help them see and heal their stuff by seeing and healing your own. Then they're not having to act out your shit for you as a reflection of your unconscious stuff.
So do you, not them. Have compassion for their suffering. If you're judging them, it's a sure sign you're avoiding your shit. Never project out at others. If you are projecting, condemning, judging - take it back and release it to God. Go into meditation and reclaim all your thoughts that you've had about the person or situation. Forgive all the abuse, all the pain and suffering…
From our wounds of separation, we look for other people who will appreciate us, like us, honor us, love us…, to prove to ourselves that we are worthy of love. But the people we manifest from these wounds are people who have similar wounds themselves, and they will either not be able to really appreciate, honor, respect, and love you, or they will only be able to do it conditionally with deals, agreements and compromises. They will love and appreciate you only to the ability that they have of appreciating and loving themselves, and appreciating and receiving love from others.
So from our wounds we desire people to help us deny or bandage our wounds of separation, but from these wounds we manifest people who can't even do it, and they are the only ones who will step forward to try. "Real" people who take full responsibility for their woundedness and are diligent to live from truth rather then suffering, will not step forward to play your co-dependent games. So Mr. and Ms. Right will never step forward, because they have transcended their wounds, they have gone beyond the illusions of separation. Only illusions will step forward, only wounded people, masquerading as a damsel and knight, will enter your life.
This is why we hate break ups, because our partner in the illusion is now gone. Our partner to help us deny our suffering has pulled out of the agreement, out of the marriage. So wounds manifest other similar wounds because that is the reality they live in. Similar realities need support, especially if they are really illusions, they need support to stay alive. If support is withdrawn from a particular reality/illusion, then you either must let it go or find someone else to help you support it.
Another reason why we hate breakups, is we're left with our own illusions, no longer supported by another person. This is why people often jump right into another relationship after the last one, so that they can avoid their karma and woundedness, supported by another wounded person who is also interested in denial.
If we cannot find support from others to maintain our fantasies, then we must work really hard at projecting a movie of this illusion, within and without, in a grandly generated illusion, a constantly running delusion. This is the nature of insanity, an extremely vivid movie that constantly runs over and over and over, it is your entire world. Most people live in a less drastic form of this, constantly running movies of delusion, supported by each other, family, friends, lovers, partners, mass consciousness, co-workers, politics, media…
And having this support for these delusions, that they are actually real, keeps you from seeing the truth and breaking out of the matrix into true reality. And it keeps you from going totally insane, because you're not having to maintain the illusion all by yourself, you and your matrix mates help each other to co-dependently keep the matrix running smoothly. This is the essence of all co-dependent relationships, the agreement is to maintain illusion, to keep away pain and suffering, to deny the wounds of separation at all cost.
The new relationship does not play this game. The only order of every day is complete revelation and transmutation of all illusion to live a truly real life, a heavenly life. This kind of life is a full time job, if you slack off for a second, the matrix sucks you back in, you just swallowed the "red pill", (see "the Matrix"). You must constantly swallow the green pill and not be seduced by "the woman in the red dress", (cause she could be an agent), by the pleasures, sensuality, vividness and glamour of the matrix. Pleasure is what the matrix seduces you with. Pleasure, security, wealth, success, admiration… for your illusions and fantasies to be supported.
You are not about pleasure,
you are about ecstasy. You are not here to survive, you are here to thrive.
Pleasure is an illusion, only ecstasy is real, the ecstasy of your own divinity.
This is not a real life, a real life is one where you reveal your ecstatic divine
nature that is already here now, hidden behind those wounds of separation. You
do not need to chase after anything.
All is Within You - Now! The Time is Now! Wake Up from the dream of separation! Recognize your Magnificence!
Everything that anyone does in your life is a manifestation from some aspect of yourself. The shit stuff, from splintered aspects in denial of their love. So you must always come back to self. You must always take care of any aspects of self that have done similar things and have manifested this mirror in order to see these things, to remember and forgive, to forgive the past hurts instigated by others, but once again, manifested by those aspects (by your soul) for their growth.
You must help these aspects heal by asking them to forgive past situations that were brought forth by this situation. You must bring back all your projections and thought forms sent out from your brow and throat chakras or other chakras, that attach you psychically to that person. Cords that are encoded with your suffering, your feelings of being victimized. If you bring all of this back to self, you will see the truth that every thing they do or have done, you on some level, do or have done, or some aspect of self does or has done. (For a compendium of releasing and embodiment techniques, please see my book "the Ascension Master's toolkit" on my website, ZaKaiRan.com)
Especially judgement, if you are condemning certain behavior, some part of you has done this, wants to do it or does it now on some level, consciously or unconsciously, in this dimension, on some other dimensional level, or parallel reality. And you are judging to avoid looking at these aspects, or these aspects are judging through your fields to deny their own suffering. They want to forgive others and self on a soul level, they want to come back to love, this is why the situation has manifested.
No matter what anyone does, doesn't do, or you wish they would do or not do… Whatever has been evoked in you, whatever experience you are being initiated by, ultimately has nothing to do with the other person. They are merely the evoker, your partner in mirrorship, an initiation of your next step in awakening and release of what you are not. Everything they do, or don't do…is an absolute reflection of some aspect of self that feels and acts the same way.
These aspects can be a part of your ego identity, genetic lineage, past life memories, vows, agreements and soul extensions. Every experience is ultimately manifested by you with the help of your divine mates and soul family for your further realization. Whether or not you take responsibility for these manifestation is up to your commitment to your Divinity, your ability to surrender to your conscious creation of reality, and releasing your perceptions that you are a victim to others and a victim to your own manifestations.
Mirror mirror, on the wall… Mirror mirror everywhere…
Be the Divine Mirror and the Divine Reflection that you are!
Yours in Divine Mirrorship,
ZaKaiRan "The Reflector" Telos
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