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Relationship with All-That-Is
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The Final Frontier
(Number 2 in a Series about Divine Relationship)
by
ZaKaiRan
The Quest
I have sent myself on a quest, to answer the perplexing question: can problems that arise in relationship be fixed. Nothing that I and my partners have tried have worked. No extraterrestrial, spiritual, psychological modality or strategy seems to take the stuff away. And simple, basic, from the heart communication has been extremely difficult due to many factors that I will outlay in this article.
I have contested that love is enough and is all that you need. Love does not seem to be enough although, because we are in a physical world and ground work must be done. The transition between temporal physical and eternal love, and the embodiment of this love, is key to this exploration. The business aspects must be taken care of, and love isn't necessarily concerned with these aspects, certainly not in the manner that we think. But even with this in mind I know that love is enough, it is just not enough in how we would like it to be - Love is sufficient unto itself.
From a fairy tale perspective love is supposed to heal everything. Why doesn't it then? Because love is not as we have romantically fantasized. Love will not fix a problem by solving it in an old world linear way, love does not work linearly. Love is efficient although, and isn't very concerned about hurting your poor feelings or not. If your foundation is built upon unstable ground than love will create an earth quake so that you will build your foundation on more stable ground. The fastest way to truth is not to take pain away, this is avoidance and denial of truth. The fastest way to truth is through the shit, through the illusions of separation, and love will always find the most efficient path to Divinity. Love does not take the pain and dramas away, if anything love brings them up; it evokes suffering that already existed but was previously hidden.
Love does not heal things directly as if it is some magic wand that will take your suffering away, that is not it's job; that's your job, to see truth so that suffering is seen for the illusion that it is, and love assists directly with this by illuminating the illusions. Our attention on love and truth heals all wounds and 'fixes' problems by enlightening you to the truth that you are love and not those wounds and pain that you think need fixing. We are healed by our attention being on love; by truly seeing love; by being aware of love in all things, that all is love and we are love. Aware that love is always present amongst all the pain, it does not go anywhere. Just because you 'hate' someone in this moment does not mean that you don't 'really' love them.
So in this instance love is enough and sufficient unto itself,
it does not need to do anything, just its presence is enough to shake your limbs
and cause you to find the truth of your beingness. Love evokes pain to illuminate
truth. In this case love seems pretty dastardly to evoke our pain, how can love
be so mean, didn't we all think that love was nice and sweet?
Love does not fix things because love is an eternal unchangeable essence, it
is not a doing, it is a being. Love will not fix anything because in truth nothing
needs to be fixed. Things that need fixing are of the world of form, the world
of illusion, and there is always something to be fixed in the world of form.
If things could be fixed with manipulation and control then there would be no
problems in the world today. There is a never ending supply of broken, faulty,
imperfect things to be continually repaired and improved - nothing is perfect
in the world of form. If nothing else, love will illuminate these faulty things
that we have judged so that we will see the truth of them.
You Are Love
Love must be seen for what it really is and embodied - you are love! Love is not something you obtain by some strategy. Living an idealistic way that all is love and because of this I can deny that problems exist, will not help you, this only delays the inevitable, and without a doubt, love will put your shit in your face to look at. This idealistic way of operating is on the right track but you cannot really live based on concepts and ideals, these things must be real for you and embodied, or they will fall away as the illusion they are.
So if there are things that need fixing, then how do we go about fixing them? First off what needs fixing? Just the problem of tallying up everything that needs fixing is a huge and daunting project. Then how to fix every problem is an even bigger project. Problems in relationship pop up continually. More and more separation dramas continually pop up to be dealt with or avoided. Every relationship would have a huge backlog of shit that hasn't been dealt with. Can we ever catch up? I do not think it is possible. If you've been together in an intimate committed relationship for 2 years, it would take you 2 years of therapy to work out all the problems that popped up during that time. And while you're busy fixing the last 2 years, new things are popping up, so you get more back log.
All problems between two people are problems of the individual. When two people deal with these together they offer each other the chance to work out their shit, so to speak, thus the creation of karma. The law of karma has been repealed. Karma is an old structure that must be laid to rest. The problem with Karma is it never ends, based on the backlog scenario I described above, you can never be free karmicly from anyone you interact with.
So I recommend not trying to fix anything. Now this does not mean acting ignorant, denying everything from some ideological spiritual base. What it really means is take responsibility for what you can and leave the rest to God. We have a lot on our plates to deal with here, and I recommend giving yourself a break and being gentle with yourself and your mate.
"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference".
The Illusions
From a planetary transition perspective, the problems that arise in relationship come up because they are illusions, and illusions must be enlightened. If you are a planetary transition team member, (a light worker), then you will be required to dig deep within your consciousness to heal a lot of wounds of relationship - the wounds of separation. And most times you will be required to do similar work over and over again. This is because once you are good at transmuting things to higher potentials, All That Is will use you further to transmute similar patterns again and again for the planet and human consciousness.
That which you truly are, pure consciousness, is always at work with all the illusions of separation, transmuting them to higher states of consciousness. Your form is not aware of everything you are doing. To transmute 3d illusions of denial of Divinity, these structures must be put through your character, this is how it works. You will not know the full details of what 'who you truly are' is doing and everything you are feeling. More than likely what you will feel will not feel good. It may be painful, it probably will be confusing. Regardless, don't rack your brain trying to figure it all out. All that you are is hard at work pumping through more than you can process intellectually and emotionally. Things are happening fast, this Ascension is happening at light speeds, so we are required to work hard and fast. So I recommend giving yourself a break and not trying to figure everything out. Lead a simple life as a master, do your work and have fun.
Therefor trying to figure out everything you are feeling and why, is basically a waste of time. And trying to fix all the shit you are feeling is an even bigger one. These things are already being fixed by All That Is and 'all that you are', you do not need to 'do' anything, the work is already being done. 'All that you are' and the Ascended Masters are always hard at work transmuting reality. And you may be required to dig deep in your consciousness and feel terrible things. You may be required to do or say yucky confronting things. You may even be tricked by Divinity, your true self, tricked into growth. Divinity will tell you anything to get you where you need to go. This is why when we are in relationship we say really stupid and hurtful things totally out of character for ourselves, to trick each other into awakening. What a great way to expand consciousness at quantum speeds, by digging up shit, wading in it up to our necks so that we can see the truth of All That Is. All illusions must be shattered, and 'you will' shatter them. This is the job you signed up for, not to live some fantasy, but to truly live reality. You are not here to muck around, you are here to Co-Create Heaven on Earth.
Exhausted from all this spiritual work? Have you reached your capacity? Need a break? You can request one; you can say no to spirit, to All That Is; this is your free will choice. The repercussions of this choice will be significant although. You may feel bad that you are letting the Universe down, and your ignorance may not be as blissful as you think. But this is your stuff, All That Is knows you are under a lot of pressure, and does not judge you for a nanosecond. Remember you actually have no contracts with All That Is except to be here and do what you do naturally - be yourself. Your presence on planet earth is enough.
Opportunities For Growth
Instead of questing to fix problems, (viewing them as obstacles), shift your perspective to include that these are opportunities for growth, an avenue of awareness for learning more about self, truth and All That Is. Opportunities to see the illusions for what they truly are, revealing that of ourselves that we are not necessarily at peace with. Illusions are transformed by using them - not by fixing them, taking them away, or avoiding them. Discovering the truth of these illusions is the real quest, you cannot get rid of anything, All That Is cannot get rid of any part of itself. All must be enlightened, all must be loved and allowed. All must be seen for the truth that it is. There is no bad, there is no good, there is nothing wrong with anything. All must be seen as it truly is - a manifestation of All That Is; a part of the drama of the illusion of separation; a form, and forms are temporary, to be played with and utilized for the experience called life
In the typical old form of relationship, we all looked for the perfect mate that would bring us fulfillment. This is the root of all dramas, we are relying on the world of form to fulfill us, something we already are therefor already have. We search for that which we already are. This type of dysfunctional relationship is something we are actually attempting to avoid as we quest for truth and the optimum peaceful relationship. This old form of relationship has many problems with it and very little peace. One is its inherent exclusivity. In and of itself there is nothing wrong with exclusivity, it is our perception of it that is faulty. Inherent in this exclusivity is the pressure we place on another person to satisfy our desires and fulfill us physically, emotionally and spiritually. We look to another person to make us happy; to provide security; to have similar tastes and desires; and to have similar spiritual and psychological viewpoints. If they do not, then our feelings of separation are evoked, and we dislike feeling separate from our mates, as we dislike feeling separate from ourselves and All That Is.
All dramas in the world of form between all humans, in all types of relationships, are because of this scenario. The pressure we place on one another to fulfill each other is immense, and none of us are 'really' up to the task. And the pressure we place upon each other to keep us from feeling separation is even greater.
Typically all dramas between people sound and look like this: you aren't doing the right thing so that we can be happy and get along and have fun etc. In other words we have a vision for the perfect loving relationship and when we don't seem to be able to accomplish it or live the vision, we start the blame game, blaming our partners and ourselves. The eternal quest, the illusion of fulfillment - happiness. If we aren't getting it, aren't accomplishing it, or living it, we immediately start looking for someone to give it to us, or get it from. If we can't get it then we start looking for someone or something to blame. We try to find out what is broken and look for solutions to fixing them. Inherent in blame is projection, giving the other partner your pain and calling it theirs. Reciprocally your partner gives you their pain and calls it yours. So the illusory search for happiness and fulfillment from the temporal world of form continues.
We Are Fulfillment
Fulfillment, freedom, liberation, enlightenment - these ways of being do not come from anywhere (certainly not from another person). We 'are' fulfillment, we 'are' freedom, we 'are' liberation. These things cannot be obtained, for if they can be obtained then they can be lost again. If they can be lost then they never existed and you never really had them. You only had a concept of them, a feeling of them, an expression of them.
Is your mate not doing the "right" thing so that you can both have a happy fulfilling relationship. Is your head saying: if only they did this and didn't do that then I wouldn't feel hurt and we could be happy. And are you telling them to be this way and not be another way and be this way for you. If so, you are using them to be your need fulfillment machine; to satisfy your insecurities and to take your pain away. We have no right to project this on to others when we should be finding fulfillment within. We are all free spirits, it is not our job to provide fulfillment for another. It is not our job to satisfy the needs, desires and insecurities of others. It is not our job to take anyone’s pain away or be anything for anyone. It is our job to 'Be Who We Truly Are'. You cannot be 'who you truly are' if you are trying desperately to fulfill another persons needs - you essentially become their slave. And You cannot be 'who you truly are' if you are trying desperately to get someone to fulfill your needs, then you become the slave driver.
Are you also beating yourself up because you can't do it either. You just can't communicate well enough; don't listen well enough; don't speak from the heart enough; you indulge in emotions or intellect; you project right and wrong on your mate; you get depressed, or dramatic and loud; you don't say the right things at the right time etc. - please give yourself a break. Your fulfillment is not dependent on what you do or on what anyone else does. Who is the doer? You experience doing but you are not the doer. You are a spiritual essence that experiences you doing and acting out dramas. This is why we are called human beings not human doings.
Fixing a relationship is really fixing self. Therapy sessions do not fix the relationship, the relationship improves if the two people realize that their personal fulfillment does not come from another person. When people realize fulfillment cannot be obtained, then relationships improve. They improve when people realize that committed relationships are about providing sanctuary for each other, safe ground to be a master, to be who you really are, not to dysfunctionally try to provide things for each other. A healthy relationship "should" provide a safe playing ground to realize the truth of your divinity. The truth that you are truth. That you are 'All That Is' and there is no separation between you. The spiritual work that we do and embody is a gift for our mates. That which is available in our consciousness that is truth and is embodied, becomes available to our mates if they have the perception to see it and embody it for themselves.
In the old scenario we have all gone from one relationship to another searching for the "one" that will be that perfect mate and provide everything that we feel we are lacking. To fill that hole of insecurity, to calm our nervous emotions, to take our pain away and help us not feel separate from All That Is. This romantic fairy tale is completely dysfunctional in the new civilization and not personally liberating. It does not offer liberation in and of itself, but liberation can be evoked from it.
Separation
All dramas between people come from the feelings that we are separate from each other. (You are not your feelings and you are not your thoughts.) This is one reason why we enter exclusive relationships, to not feel separation. The illusion of fairy tale oneness by joining with another in relationship, is destined for disaster. This is why it is a fairy tale not reality. If it was reality we would have no need for fairy tales and romance. This fairy tale romance is destined for disaster because it brings up all our deep pains about separation and brings up our feelings that we are separate from each other and All That Is. The illusion is that the fairy tale romance will make us feel oneness, and at first it does, as the relationship has not yet developed any excess emotional baggage, and spirit is free to roam. Oneness is always present, but your attention more than likely was on a concept of oneness, a feeling of oneness, and soon the illusion falls away as do all things in the world of form.
When you are getting along, and happy and having fun, you don't feel your pain of separation. Any discord between you and you immediately feel all your pains of separation. Or more accurately, your pain of separation has arisen and there is now discord. Then the fights begin, as we struggle for control and denial of what we are feeling. We struggle to feel oneness again, to fix the problem. We tell each other: if you hadn't done this we would be feeling oneness now instead of pain - you bastard - you bitch. If only we would have done this and that, then we would be happy. What a circle of illusion - happiness and peace is who we are not a way to be.
The pain of separation is always lurking under the bridge like a troll ready to pop up and scare you when you least expect it. Lies must be revealed and will always surface, and the lie of separation must be seen for what it is. Therefor this lie must come out in relationship, the illusion of separation and the truth of oneness, the interconnectedness of all things must be revealed. When each person realizes this lie and finally knows that they 'are' oneness, then they can truly be in relationship, for they realize that they are in relationship with 'All That Is'. When beings truly live who they are and realize that they are pure divine consciousness and that this consciousness is the witness of all these dramas of separation in human bodies, then they will be able to truly be in love for 'we are all love'. Love is not something you do or accomplish, it is being. We are love and all things are expressions of that love.
So can anything be fixed? Yes, everything can be fixed, by seeing the truth that all problems are truly illusion and you must put your attention on 'that which you truly are'. If you put your trust and attention on the world of form you will experience suffering, guaranteed. If you would like to not experience suffering - find out who suffers, find that which witnesses and watches this human drama unfold; you will find 'who you truly are'. If you put your trust in that which is truly real, then there is nothing to be fixed as there is 'no thing'. And these problems are gifts as they point to 'that which you truly are'. They highlight what you truly are by emphasizing that which you are not.
If you want security - discover that you are security.
If you want fulfillment - discover that you are fulfillment.
If you want freedom - discover that you are freedom.
If you want liberation - discover that you are liberation.
If you want enlightenment - discover that you are enlightenment.
If you want to ascend - discover that you are Ascension.
Accomplishment, figuring things out and organizing our lives in cute packages no longer works. We are free spirits, we cannot be packaged, we cannot be figured out, and we cannot be fixed. We do not need to become enlightened, obtain anything, be anything, earn anything or learn anything, as 'we are all things' and 'no thing'.
We 'Are' Enlightenment
Freedom, liberation, enlightenment - these are concepts of limitation. These concepts are usually used in a context of accomplishment, something to aspire to and obtain. If I do that, and follow this, and study that, and be this way, then I will be liberated and attain enlightenment. The truth cannot be obtained for we are truth. Liberation cannot be attained for we are liberation. Enlightenment cannot be obtained - for we are enlightenment. True liberation comes when you let go of the search; when you let go of trying to accomplish anything; when you let go of your spiritual glamour, and realize that you are liberated because - you are liberation itself.
So how do we accomplish a successful relationship from this perspective? A successful relationship cannot be "accomplished". The mere act of grasping for success implies the possibility of failure. You cannot have success without failure. If you succeed and obtain "fulfillment" through being with another, inevitably this will fall away. The world of form constantly changes, relationship constantly changes, you do not! That which you truly are is eternal and never changes, it is consciousness itself.
By being who you truly are, knowing who you truly are, that you are consciousness, All That Is - relationship is accomplished - "because all that you are is relationship with All That Is". Relationship just is, it is not something you obtain, it is who and what we are. We 'are' Relationship. There is no separation between anyone for we are all one, we are all the same consciousness stream experiencing the same illusions of separation. We are divine actors playing our parts in a grand drama.
So once again can a "successful" relationship be accomplished? Yes, because we are accomplishment, we are the other person, it is already a success, it is already accomplished. Be still within your being. Be still with each other knowing you are one, knowing that 'you are your mate'. Leave the relationship alone, it will take care of itself.
In the next dimension there will be no need for exclusive relationships, we will no longer need to explore ownership, abandonment, infidelity and other illusions of separation; so enjoy them now while you can, and accept the gifts of Divinity that they offer.
We do not need relationships to fulfill us because we are all sovereign entities, whole within our beingness, within the oneness of All That Is. But we do need relationship - because everything is relationship. The world of form is one big giant intertwined relationship. As a species we need love and affection, they are part of the gifts of All That Is and the joys of life. On a physical health level even standard medical science knows that humans need regular love and affection to maintain optimum health, without it we deteriorate and die.
"In the world of beingness,
there is nothing but Love,
In the world of doingness, there is nothing but Relationship"
- Alarius
All relationship is about our relationship with All That Is!
With Love,
ZaKaiRan
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This article is copyrighted by ZaKaiRan, but you have my permission to share it through any medium as long as the proper credit line is included and nothing is deleted. If you would like a shorter version of this article for publication, please let me know. |