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Surrender of Control



How much control do you have of your own life? What desires are you able to fulfil and which ones seem impossible to obtain? Do you suffer as I have about not being able to be understood and seemingly being unable to understand? To not being able to be seen correctly and not being able to see others for who they really are?

Understanding and being understood is certainly my ideal modus operandi, but the full realization of it seems to be unreachable. I hate it because I can’t control it and because it evokes my suffering about separation. In relationships it is especially frustrating. Understanding and being understood seems to be the illusive goal of communication in relationships. And I have absolutely no control over this process.

Another person's perception of reality is completely individual and personal and totally their own. Their perception cannot be understood because it is theirs not yours. If you endeavour to understand it, you will more than likely be pulling your hair out trying. And even if you can get to a point where you actually do see them “correctly”, feel what they feel, empathize with their pain, know where they are intellectually, and you describe this to them, more than likely your perception and verbal usage will be misconstrued beyond all recognition. What a dilemma.

So can true communication actually take place, and what is true communication in the first place. With the knowledge that we have our own individual unique perceptions of reality how can we possibly be understood correctly. I do not think it is possible, unless you could walk into their body and adopt their entire genetic and karmic structure, then maybe it would be close. With this in mind there doesn’t seem to be a point; why bother, why rack your brain and emotions trying.

Surrender is a key element here, surrender and detachment. Attachment to certain outcomes must be surrendered to All That Is, you do not have any degree of control of this process, even if you have a Doctorate degree in communication and psycho therapy, you are still not in their skin. So we have no control over being understood ‘correctly’ because others are not in our moccasins. We have no control over understanding others and seeing them correctly because we are not standing in theirs.

So perhaps intellectual and emotional understanding isn’t very important then. It is only important to our insecure egos that want to feel loved and cared for by being understood. I don’t mean to be a callous uncaring bastard here, but truth can be very straight forward. Certainly we can have the utmost compassion for others and our own suffering, and caring and allowance of others perceptions, but we don’t need to try to painstakingly understand them in order to imply to them that we love them. This is a form of codependence – not love. Love does not need to be manipulated or controlled – nor can it be. We do not need to be understood either so that we can feel loved, and secure, and at one with our partners or friends. We are not one with anyone in this world of form, the world of form is a world of separation not oneness. Do not look to the world of form for oneness, you will only be met with disappointment and heartache. The world of oneness is All That Is; it is that which you truly are; it is no place and cannot be found. The world of separation is contained within the wholeness of All That Is, the One contains all.

Having things in common and having agreement between people is not oneness. It has a feeling of oneness as there is no conflict, but this feeling is gone as soon as you disagree about something, especially if it is spiritual. This is why people congregate in groups and try to find the perfect mate, so that they will “feel” oneness. Agreement is not oneness it is merely agreement. Belonging to someone or some group identity is not oneness, it is only an agreed upon identity and belief system. Agreeing and adhering to similar philosophies, beliefs, religions, spiritual or otherwise, is not oneness, and is not unity. Unity is not an exterior thing that can be controlled. Unity is All That Is, you are unity itself; you do not need to belong; All That Is belongs to All That Is and has no concept of belonging because everything belongs to All That Is.

Be centered in the heart and pineal centers (the center of your brain). Be connected to feeling, intuition and allow your emotional experience; connected to the earth; open to higher direction; and you will understand and know all you need to understand and know. Breathe and Feel! Keep breathing, keep feeling, and know, realize and feel your connection to All Life, and everything else will fall into place. You will then understand and feel everyone and everything as much as you need to.

Detach from outcome, allow the mystery of love to dictate outcome. Surrender control to that which you truly are and the outcomes of life will far surpass any expectation or desire you could have. Surrender control of understanding others and place your attention on the uniqueness of their wondrous being. Surrender control of being understood, knowing that what you know, and what you do is enough.

And whatever you say, however you say it, is enough, you do not need to explain yourself. There are much better forms of communication than speech. Understand that nothing you could say will accurately describe who you truly are, and your unique perception of reality. And especially know this - Your Presence is Enough!

You are a human being not a human doing, so be, and really be understood.

Yours in Divine Understanding,


©ZaKaiRan AatKa'Nui SheeHan

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