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Exclusive and Unconditional Relationship

The Illumination of Oneness, Freedom, Individuality, Co-dependence, and Exclusivity in Intimate Relationship

(#8 in the Exploration and Illumination of Divine Relationship)




"Love should not be in any way possessive. It should not be exclusive, it should be all inclusive. Only when love is inclusive will you know what it is. When love is exclusive, exclusively to one, you are narrowing it down so much that you kill it. You are destroying its infinity. You are trying to put the whole sky into such a small space; the small space cannot contain it. One should be in love. Love should not just be a relationship, it should be a state of being. And whenever you love one, through the one you love all. And if love has really happened, you will suddenly find that you have started loving trees and birds and the sky and people.” - Osho – The Wisdom of the Sands VII.


The Greatest Gift You Can Give Anyone Is Their Freedom. The essence of love is freedom, and the true essence of relationship is to provide a free space for both of your expression, existence and natural essence. Not to possess, guard, protect or provide security, but to provide a space for them be liberated from the shackles of society's control and restraints of what relationship is or "should be"; and provide safe ground to heal their wounds of separation, to release all that limits them in expressing their divine essence and function, to be empowered to be able to manifest their vision of Heaven on Earth.

If I try to possess you, I am trying to hold on to an illusion. If something can be possessed, than it can be lost, if it can be lost then it isn’t real. So possessing someone is an illusion, based on the illusion that someone can actually be possessed. A fantasy, an ideal is what you are trying to possess, a way of acting to try to protect your security, a security based on an illusion, on acting a certain way instead of being.

We are not to use our partners, friends and lovers to help us feel good, to reach some ecstatic surrogate for true awakening, for truth of beingness. Our experience with them should be an expression of our natural state of ecstasy. If you need to find ecstasy and you "find" it, then of course it can be lost, if it can be lost it was not real. And you are enslaved to the addiction of finding ecstasy again.

The feeling and experience of ecstasy should optimally be an expression of ecstasy within that you already are, not so you can get it and try to keep it. This is the key to possession, to trying to hang on to sexual partners so as to not lose the source of ecstasy. Sexual possession is linked to romanticism, that our partner is the only lover for us or more accurately the best lover. If you have a compatible sexual connection with similar biases and pleasure each other as you desire, it will be harder to let go of this ecstasy generator, because you will be deluded in thinking that this was “the one”. Your feelings of loss are tied to this fantasy of prince and princess charming, living happily ever after. Even if the relationship has not appeared perfect like the fantasy, the hope and wish for the fantasy to be true exists within our belief structures, within our desire for wholeness and completion, and we will try to create this in our relationships, which is the essence of co-dependency.

Sex is an illusionary substitute for completeness. It does create a form of completeness, it does bring male and female together, or male and male together, or female and female together, or just plain intimacy. But there are many agendas and agreements, consciously and subconsciously in the bedroom, not all completely honorable, and all having a need fulfilment basis: I need you to help me feel loved; I need you to help me feel sexy by being turned on by me; satisfy me and I will satisfy you; agreements to pleasure each other; agreements to be fulfilled by one another; and agreements to prove we are loved...

There should be no agreements or contracts in any relationship including a sexual one. Divine Relationship is to show each other that you are love – not that you are loved. Whether or not you are loved is based on an illusion of worthy/unworthy. All are loved for all are God, how could God not love some part of itself?

In relationship, Love should not be possessive or exclusive because love is not either of these things. Possessive love, exclusive love, is not real love, not divine love, not unconditional love. Possessive/exclusive relationship is not based on any form of true reality, but illusion, agreements, rules, demands, expectations…

People generally only feel and experience love when in relationship with anyone, including lovers friends and family; but this love is exclusive to relationship, to a person or persons. This is an expression of love, but it is not necessarily the essence of love, or the embodiment of love. The essence of love is that it just is. It is here now within us all if we allow it. It is here now within all of our relationships if we allow it. The true essence of relationship is unconditional love, I emphasize unconditional love. your true goal is complete freedom for self and to provide complete freedom for others.

So for a relationship, your true desire is for their complete fulfillment, complete realization and complete release to be whole, unattached to anything. Unattached to anything because all "things" are unreal, and all attachments are to unreal things of the past and future, not of this moment. Your true goal and desire in relationship, and the true function of relationship is to provide an unconditional free space

In relationship, Love should not be possessive or exclusive because love is not either of these things. Possessive love, exclusive love, is not love at all, not real love, not divine love, not unconditional love. Possessive/exclusive relationship is not based on any form of true reality, but illusion, agreements, rules, demands, expectations…

People generally only feel and experience love when in relationship with anyone, including: lovers, friends, and family, but this love is exclusive to relationship, to a person or persons. This is an expression of love, but it is not necessarily the essence of love, or the embodiment of love. The essence of love, is that it just is. It is here now within us all if we allow it. It is here now within all of our relationships if we allow it. The true essence of relationship is unconditional love, I emphasize unconditional love. Your true goal is complete freedom for self and to provide complete freedom for others.

So for a relationship, your true desire is for their complete fulfillment, complete realization, and complete release to be whole, unattached to anything. Unattached to anything because all "things" are unreal, and all attachments are to unreal things of the past and future, not of this moment. Your true goal and desire in relationship, and the true function of relationship is to provide an unconditional free space to allow the embodiment and expression of everyone's divinity.

Fulfillment, Wholeness, Monogamy, Polygamy

It does not matter if you have one partner or many, no one really cares in the whole Universe how many people you have sex or relationships with, least of all God. Neither is more virtuous or more enlightened. What you do is immaterial, your intention is the important part based on your consciousness, based on your perception of truth or illusion, based on what is intended by your action, based on whether you are using that partner or partners as your need fulfilment machine, or whether they are partners in divine evocation, fellow light shiners of truth and the love that you are.

You have no control over where your partner or partners are in their consciousness. You only have control over yourself. Your only choice is yes or no to certain partners based on your perception of them. You may not be using them, but they may be using you and vice versa. Or there may be a little of both, some truth, some divine synergy, some energy sucking, trading… Sexually it can be the same, some divine synergy, and some basic fucking for sheer physical gratification. But is it just physical gratification, I think not. In truth, all sexual relationships are for emotional gratification through physical expression. You cannot have sex with anyone without being emotionally affected. Some people are just better at denial than others. Some are more affected then others depending on how much lust they use to deny their suffering and avoid intimacy, but even with lots of lust, the union of sex affects even the hardest of hearts to feel and awaken to love and truth. This is the real reason everyone wants to have sex all the time, not only to feel pleasure, but to be affected on emotional levels and subsequently, spiritual levels.

For all humans, in all situations, in all encounters, the ultimate desire is to be whole. Every single thing that every single human being does on planet earth is to be whole; everything from sex, to relationship, to having kids, to having friendships, to relating to family members, to having jobs and providing “security”, to even doing bad things.

Every action on planet earth is to become whole, even if it does not appear as such. Even if it appears contrary to wholeness, the intention from divine consciousness is for wholeness, even murder, war and rape, manipulation and control, and all the possibilities imaginable that we can perceive as being wrong - they are all for wholeness, individually and planetarily.

We all have a deeper plan, personally as souls, and as a civilization. And the planet has its own plan, which of course includes our civilization upon her, because we are one with the planet, even if people do not know this to be true, and act accordingly. As a whole there is a divine plan for wholeness within the wholeness of all humanity, for humanity is One, one civilization, one giant body with many parts. All the parts have been fighting with each other for wholeness, trying to get it from each other, trying to steal wholeness, trying to "prove" that one part of the body is better than another. Like the eyes trying to prove they are better than the legs; like the kidneys saying they are better than the liver… As a civilization we do get wholeness from each other by realizing that we are all one body, all part of the same wholeness. We get it by being whole within self so that we can be whole as a group. The group will realize that it is One, this is manifesting in our lifetime.

Sexually we are looking to connect with the parts that are missing; as many people as there are on planet earth, that’s how many missing parts there are. That’s a lot of people to have sex with. Since this would be impossible and does not work, I recommend knowing self, however is best for you, for all of our paths of awakening are unique. Read books, go to workshops, Satsangs, channelings, whatever helps you, but most importantly above all, is Live; be human; experience life; have relationships; make love a lot; become intimate on all levels with humans; be a spiritual master living a human life. Don’t try to get out of here, get into here! Be here now! Love others because they are love; love others because you are love, because they are you.

You will have all the typical desires of humanity along the way. You will want basic sexual gratification, you will want relationships to “complete” you, you will want babies to “complete” you. You will put up with stupid ignorant, inconsiderate, disrespectful people in order to maintain peace and try to have wholeness. It will occur to you to do and say stupid hurtful things. You will desire some people and dislike others, etc., etc., etc., but always know the truth, and always know that you know the truth. Realize that you know the truth of every situation and everything that you do, even if it appears otherwise. You as divine consciousness always knows the plan, so you within this human form can enjoy the mystery, so that you can get out of your own way and surrender to the miraculous unfoldment of existence and experience.

Exposing Wounds of Separation, the Barriers to Intimacy

Relationship, intimacy, presence, will always reflect you back to you. This is why all our repressed stuff comes up in relationship. This is why love hurts, it brings up everything that you haven’t dealt with yet. We are indeed reflections for each other, because we are each other. This is why people are afraid of intimacy and want to keep things shallow so that they won’t have to look at themselves and truly be self. They avoid relationship because everywhere they are misaligned will be evoked. This is the job of the master, the guru, to illuminate these places. Relationship does a similar thing. This is why those with intimacy issues will similarly avoid spiritual masters, and will avoid spirituality in general.

All relationships, including or excluding sexuality, are about intimacy, revealing true self. It is easy to lie to yourself, to live within your own illusion, but in the presence of another, especially someone who is aware and awake and conscious of human psycho dramas, it is not so easy to hide and deny where we are insecure within our humanness. It is not so easy to live in an illusion that we are not whole, for within relationship the lie that we are not whole is revealed. This is why people try desperately to cling to partners in order to be whole, to cling to an illusion, so that the illusion (of separation) will not be revealed.

All relationship problems are directly connected to possession, to control, to the illusion that this person can complete you. The loss of this possession and you are devastated, because this illusion is revealed once again, as the wholeness surrogate has been removed and your wholeness or un-wholeness stares you in the face. And because sex is the most intimate act we equate with relationship, it is directly connected to this possession drama. If there are any problems within the relationship and sex is temporarily cut off, once again the illusion is revealed.

You don’t even have to break up to experience the loss, just have a disagreement about anything and you will probably do the typical human control drama of withdrawing love, affection and sex from your partner; as if we are intuitively drawn to reveal the illusion within relationship, because the drama began from the illusion in the first place. I will explain further.

As aware beings we are continually drawn to reveal the truth, when the illusion of un-wholeness, of separation, of unworthy, etc., is revealed, we react in certain human ways in tune with our feelings of hurt and who we are as divine beings of truth and consciousness, for they both operate together. As humans we react from victim: you bastard, you bitch, you’re taking my love source away, you’re abandoning me, you’re not treating me with respect, etc., etc. We line up scenarios for ourselves to have integrated and whole relationships. To have integrated and whole relationships, the illusion must be revealed. As consciousness, as existence, we will reveal the illusions.

You will react in typical human ways of rejection, and anger, and sadness and will be entranced by a myriad of human stories based on past pain and future projection. And you will react in ways that force you to see the truth, and for your partner to see the truth, ie. – you bastard/you bitch, I hate you, no affection for you and no sex. This is not an optimum wholistic truthful reaction based on the fact that you really love this person and always want their affection, love, tenderness and sex. But by falling into this typical human reaction, you are both forced to look at the truth. Or at least the opportunity to see the truth is there, because once again even within a partnership, a relationship, you are alone, your completeness, or the illusion of your in-completeness is in your face again. Essentially every drama that arises within a relationship that “creates separation”, has arisen because some separation already exists and now has been revealed.

So every time a drama “separates” you, it is a mini break up, some agreement within the partnership has been broken, an agreement that was conscious or unconscious. An agreement based on some illusion of security, some illusion of permanence. Some romantic delusion that a person completes you and you will be deluded until you know self so well that you need no one, and then you can really appreciate the true essence of every being, they can now compliment you rather than “complete” you.

You will be deluded because we are all romantic, pining for the one that will make it all better, when the one that will make it all better is our own self, when what will make it all better is oneness with All That Is. So the strategy was sound, it had the right idea, we are completed by that one person but no more or less than any one else - the unworthy game. This is the illusion of exclusivity, monogamy, the romantic fantasy of the “one”, because there will always be someone who completes you more, (who evokes more of your magnificence), but no matter how perfect, no one could be perfect enough, for they are not you. Your twin flame comes the closest to being you, but more than likely, as a human, they are quantumly different, and you may not be socially and psychologically compatible at all – one more illusion shattered.

This is our desire for our partners to be very similar to us, with similar likes and dislikes. Good relationship can exist just because of basic compatibility on human levels. This was the usual relationship orientation of the old world, aside from unconscious emotional connections based on similar wounds and karma. But in the new relationship we must combine compatibility/incompatibility on human levels with deep spiritual connection to enlighten relationship of humanness.

If you do expose yourself , loving fully and passionately, risking getting hurt and experiencing all your deepest wounds of separation, exposing them for the lie they are, you will not awaken further to who you are because this is how it is done. You must expose the lie, you must expose the hurt so you can stop identifying with it, so you can stop sinking with the hurt to the bottomless pit of despair. You must realize the truth of hurt, thus empowering you, because this hurt is not you, just some story.

Learn to work with what is exposed; go into it; do not shy away from what is revealed; be empowered by what lie, or belief, or story, or illusion is revealed. You will not get lost here in this place, you will be found. Here the phoenix (that is you) arises from the flames and you arise more splendorous and more whole then ever before.

This is true meditation when you meditate upon self, when you discover the truth of your beingness. Pain and suffering is evoked with intimacy, this is why love is a bitch. This is why many people avoid relationship. Love and relationship exposes you , for all to see, it especially exposes you to self. Intimacy brings up all those parts of ourselves that we are desperately hiding, those parts that we believe are unlovable and those parts that do not know they are love.

Prosperity is knowing that there is an unlimited amount of energy of love available for everyone. Our natural nature is to be infinitely generous with our love, to flow and allow, and generate, and channel. To always have prosperity you must be discerning so as not to be stolen from, because there are many energy thieves, and they would especially like to steel yours. So you must be generous, but do not cast your pearls before swine, for they will eat them and throw shit in your face in return.

Do not try to help anyone that does not genuinely desire your help, you can only help those that will actually allow themselves to receive it; people who see you as a master, someone who can genuinely help them. They must have faith or you cannot heal them. (This is the miracle of healing which Jesus speaks about in the Bible when people would come to him for healing - have faith; without their own faith, no healing could occur). They must be open and ready, otherwise you are not in integrity, and you are trying to be a goody goody, (to prove how worthy you are), as if they need your help; as if you are better; as if they are not a master; as if they are helpless and powerless. This does not circulate the energy, it is unrequited help where you're not really able to give or receive, which drains you energetically.

Everyone is in the hands of their spirits, unenlightened or enlightened, every place and position a person can be in their consciousness is part of the divine plan of their awakening. Help those beings that unconditionally ask for it, that truly passionately want it, and leave the rest in the hands of their Spirits, otherwise you are acting like their Spirit, and taking their power away.

Sex and Intimacy

Aside from basic survival oriented animalistic sexual territorial imperatives, the biggest reason people make love, desire to make love and be in relationship, is for an increased level of intimacy in their lives. Everyone loves intimacy whether they know it or not, or whether they allow it into their lives or not. People that do not like intimacy are just afraid; afraid of self; afraid of their darkness, their "unloved" and "unlovable" parts; and afraid of their magnificence; their light, love and divinity.

All relationship is plainly and wholly about intimacy, how much intimacy we desire and allow in our lives. And this is directly related to how much intimacy we allow within our own selves, and allow ourselves to experience. It is directly dependent on our desire and ability to expose the woundedness of our humanness and its desire to be one and whole, to be enlightened and healed by true love and intimacy.

So everyone has a desire for intimacy, but most people do not know how to have it and experience it daily, especially since they do not know how to be trusting and surrendered, to expose and allow themselves to be exposed, but are guarded and protective of their feelings, beliefs and stories. So everyone wants intimacy but most everyone isn’t willing to allow it and accept it for fear of being trod upon.

This is a valid concern, but there is empowerment with letting go and risking being "hurt". But if you are aware you will know not to put yourself in abusive situations. You will become (or already are) discerning of those that do not love themselves and therefore cannot love you without being dependent. You will know when you meet someone who is similarly biased towards deep surrendered trusting intimacy. These people will be your best friends, relationships and best sexual partners, for like you they know what love is, and they will know that they are love and will not try to take it from you.

You will not be able to have a successful relationship with someone who does not know self; who believes they get love from you; who believes they are completed and made whole by your presence, companionship, friendship, love and sex. And you cannot enlighten them; you are not their guru; they must do it themselves, otherwise you put yourself in an abusive situation and are seen as their need fulfilment machine.

Now of course we are all operating at different levels of awareness and self love. You may be less or more intimately available then your mate and either of you may slide into dependency, but if you are both sufficiently aware and open to the truth, you can get through it individually and/or together, arriving at a place of wholeness, where you realize, after the story has run its course, that you always loved each other, always will love each other and most importantly that you are love, individually and together.

Now of course, the best relationship that has all of the qualities that we all truly desire (beyond our fears of intimacy) is when there is the greatest level of intimacy. When you have this you can work through anything, discuss anything without blame and posturing. And with it comes the bonus of great sex; the greater the level of intimacy, the better the sex. The more trust you have with someone where the two of you are totally naked, inside and out, whereby all of your goodness, as well as your “faults”, are exposed for your partner to love, allow and accept as part of being human; or their free will choice to reject, from the illusion that that part is unlovable, unworthy and not of God.

Don’t use sex, eroticism, lust, sensuality and pleasure as an alternative to intimacy, these things should be a part of intimacy. Intimacy is the foundation of all true relationship and the foundation of real love making. Intimacy is what you really want anyway, it is what everyone wants. Everyone is being as intimate as they are allowing themselves to be now, and everyone wants more, for this is awakening. Awakening, enlightenment, self realization is nothing more than intimacy, nothing more than loving as a natural expression of who you are. Not loving so as to receive love, just loving because you can do no other thing; you cannot deny your love any longer; you must love or you will die; you just naturally love because you are love.

You must circulate the energy of love. If you want prosperity, if you want fun and adventure and lots of love in your life, then you must passionately love from love, unconditionally. This cultivates life energy and makes you an overflowing cup of love. You are the Holy Grail, always sharing your elixir of love and ever flowing in and out. Your cup over-floweth, it is always refilled again as soon as you empty it out to another. Nurture and accumulate the energy of love within you, so that you can share it, not to have it as if you need to keep it; you are love, you do not need to hoard it. Plain and simply you will not grow without intimacy, intimacy of self firstly, and intimacy with others secondly.

I have become at peace with my self judgements about lust and allowed myself to enjoy a bit of good old animal instinct, simple fucking and a good orgasm, but from a pure and real enjoyment factor, my best orgasms and most favorite and fulfilling sex comes from good physical open sexuality/sensuality coupled with real deep intimacy, whereby there is a large degree of heart openness and connection with my partner.

There must be a large amount of presence, in the moment, and light to see my lover and to look into each other's eyes. The eyes are the window of the soul and I like to see my lover’s ecstasy, love, essence and orgasm, and for her to share it with me. I prefer my lover to be as fully present as possible, (energetically and multidimensionally), rather than swooning off into a self oriented body escape. In other words we’re making love together, sharing in union, rather than me being used as some live masturbatory tool strictly for her pleasure, gratification and orgasm.

Based on my personal experience, if I am not concerned about orgasm and just enjoying the orgasmic experience of making love, then more than likely, especially after a particularly long session, I will have a spectacular orgasm. If I am orgasm oriented, I will just get off, just relieving some urge; my orgasm will not be very good, and there will not be any real completeness, or real fulfillment. Perhaps you can relate to this, regardless of your sex or sexual orientation. You must be in the moment, with no destination in mind for the orgasm to become ecstatic. You must allow every moment to be orgasmic, then there is no destination, only the moment of love.

So I need my partner to be present with me enjoying love making without any destination in mind. It certainly is alright to desire a good orgasm, but you must enjoy the moment whereby orgasm is just part of the moment. In this case it will not be draining but energizing, and you will probably want to make love again soon, and for hours and days, and weeks… There is no end to your lovemaking, it just goes on and on forever, existing in every moment of life.

If I have a real orgasm from serious, long, in the moment, love making, I will still be horny, so to speak, and if I have the energy for more, and the synergy is right, will determine whether we desire to continue. If I just get off, I will usually be semi drained, and the urge to fuck will have subsided, because that is all we were doing, we were not really making love, which we all naturally want to do forever, but we only want to fuck till we get off. Or I will want to make love more because I feel completely unfulfilled.

If my partner is orgasm oriented, she will not be in the moment or really intimately connected to me, just using me. And sex with her will not be fulfilling, I will not have a good orgasm, or even get to orgasm, and more than likely will not have any desire to have sex with her ever again. If I am trying to obtain fulfillment through another, I may delude myself to think that this person actually could be intimate, and I may sell myself over and over again to try to get to real intimacy. This of course, is giving my power away for an illusion. It is a self delusion to create intimacy where intimacy does not exist. Either intimacy is available or it is not. To some degree a couple can "work" on obtaining greater intimacy, but to a large degree this is fantasy, because either you are intimate within your own self and can then share it with another, or you are not, yet.

With an orgasm orientation, there is a control drama happening: the sex is not about sharing, but taking, and deals and power…, so it will ultimately be energetically draining. This is the incubus and succubus, the psychic sexual vampires, where you use each other and suck each other's energy, and give your energy away for power gratification. The succubus sucks anything, especially attention energy, sexual energy, creative energy. Any images, fantasies, attachments in this world of form, this negative ego wants it all. This is not something done just by "evil" people, this is something that takes place every day in the lives of average people and lovers that do not know how to truly love unconditionally and to make love unconditionally. They are all sucking energy from each other.

One fallacy we perceive as humans is that we are being loved when we are receiving sex. And when we are not receiving sex we are not receiving love and we are not loved and lovable, in other words you are worth something if you are fuckable and a good fuck.

This is always apparent when on partner knocks back the other when they want to have sex, because when you have essentially rejected their advances, they will pout up a storm, because "they are not being loved". In other words "if you loved me, you would always want to have sex with me", and this is the agreement many relationships make with each other. Once again, we truly believe we are getting love when we are sexing and getting sexed, as if love can be obtained like an object.

Previously I thought that you cannot give or receive love, because love is not something that can be bought, sold, marketed, controlled or possessed - because it just is, and because of the fact that we just are love. This was a logical conclusion because in most relationships, individuals are not really giving or receiving love, but are giving, receiving and taking energetic power. They are playing control games, and engaging in energy exchange deals and theft games, or using love and sex to assuage their insecurities, for personal gratification, and to deny their abandonment and unworthiness issues.

Then I changed my perception to the fact that you can give and receive love, or to put it more accurately, you give energy and positivety by being loving, by implying with your actions, love and caringness. And what you are really providing by loving another is the evocation within their own beingness that they are love. And you can really be loving and caring by Divinely making love to/with someone, as an action of your love, as an action of your natural essence that is evoked by being with them, which is an unconditional expression of unconditional love.

Sexuality and Sexual Energy

Open up your first 3 chakras. Open up the root (Mooladhara) chakra; the seat of creation; your first 8 cells that created your body; the element of earth, where human evolution begins and where all animal urges of divine instinct reside. Connect to this chakra and you are connected to the earth and the flora and fauna upon it. Connect to this chakra and you are connected to creation and manifestation. (Mool - root; dhara - place. Note: the word root, like the roots of a tree). If you are open in this chakra, then you are grounded and nurtured within the cradling arms of mother earth. Closed, and you are disconnected from your mother, disconnected from the elements, disconnected from life, creation and manifestation; you are in hell.

Open up your sacral/sexual chakra, Swadhistana, (Swa - self; sthana - place), the seat of self, or personality, or ego. Open to the water element of Swadhistana, the deep dark ocean of subconsciousness. This chakra's balancing and openness is the enlightenment of your personality/ego, the unconscious depths rising to the surface of consciousness, rather than stuck in a realm of denial and delusion. Opening this chakra allows this aspect of humanness to be the ground crew for Spirit. Open in this chakra and you are empowered by your sexual energy centers, and physically healthily empowered by your sexual hormones. Closed, and you are a victim to biological sexual territorial urges. You are subhuman, less than an animal; disconnected from divine instinct; taking more than you need, to satisfy your lust.

Open up your naval/solar plexus, Manipura chakra, activating the fire element associated with this chakra. This is the mid point between heaven and earth. This is the congregation point of your nadis (the river of chi, energy, prana, shakti). (Mani - jewel; pura - city). Manipura is the Emerald City, radiating immense light (thanks Dorothy). It is the psychic, prana storage, emotional, and food digestion/absorption centers. When this chakra is balanced and activated, it opens you up to the higher consciousness of the upper chakras merging Heaven and Earth, Spirit and physical, gross and subtle. Open and this chakra is the seat of divine power, psychic awareness and the fire of the Goddess. Closed and it will be the center/wall of the illusions of power, control and psychic manipulation.

Because of sexual guilt and shame passed down genetically and taught to us through social consciousness, many of us are wounded in the sexual regions, our penises and vaginas have stored in them etherically all the traumatic sexual experiences we have had from all of our lifetimes, across space time and dimension. And many of us have been raped or molested as children and teenagers in this lifetime, providing a chance to clear all those traumas.

Generally humans on planet earth are all out of whack sexually and chakrically. Most people's chakras are not all spinning and aligned, many are shut down, damaged, repressed…. It is now time to have them all open, spinning, and operating at peak efficiency. Many beings are concentrating on their heart chakras, and crown chakras and not realizing that these chakras won’t work very well if your lower chakras are closed down. If you are not open in the lower chakras, you are half a person, a spiritual adept with a halo, who can’t live on planet earth in a body but must live in the higher realms. This is not living. The ancient practice of shutting off the animal parts of ourselves in favor of the more enlightened parts, serves to put you in touch with higher realms of consciousness, but does not allow them to become real here now, to be embodied. This is why you must be completely open especially the lower chakras. In fact if you get the lower ones fully operational, the upper ones naturally follow suit.

We shunned these chakras because typical humanity operated solely from them, from animal instinct. This is why many religions created so many rules and regulations about sex, to try to control the animal instincts to fuck and fight. But this strategy failed miserably, it only created guilt and shame about a simple basic animal instinct, human desire and natural way of expression.

Because of this repression fostered by our forefathers, we must right this wrong, we must encourage our brethren to be completely open, so that self judgement will no longer be fostered, so that humans can live as masters, human masters, able to be spiritual animals, to know the truth of beingness and great spirit, and to be able to have a root with out feeling guilty about it. (root: Aussie for fuck).

Without proper teaching and initiations, repression of sexuality manifests as distorted behavior, because these creative energies need expression. If not expressed they become dark, hidden in the shadows. We have seen the result of sexual repression and guilt in humanity and how it manifests as distorted sexual behavior, where people use sexuality as a commodity and tool of manipulation, power and control. And we of course have seen the result of forced celibacy. Without proper teaching, cleansing practices, and inner sexual energy cultivation, celibacy manifests as inner imbalance, disconnection from love, and sexual perversion.

Celibacy should be a natural occurrence, not necessarily a decision, and certainly not a requirement. Trying to manipulate consciousness by manipulating (repressing) sexual energies, does not work. It is another example of using exterior forces to somehow make interior changes. Especially being forced to choose celibacy is fraught with disaster, it is just plain denial and self oppression. Real change is not made by manipulating outside forces, real shifts in consciousness are made through inner initiations.

So if you live a life from true reality, then the word celibate does not exist. Your life is not about making agreements and vows, but breaking them. So you are just in a relationship, or you are not. You are having sex, or you are not. You currently have a sexual partner, or you do not. There is no formal declaration to yourself or the world about anything, your only declaration is the vow to release all vows and agreements, and patterns, and pictures of reality, and anything else that may be limiting you.

Sex is not a limitation, only our stranglehold upon it is a limitation. If you are afraid of sex, you are afraid of intimacy. If you are afraid of sexuality/intimacy, you are afraid of creation; your own creativity; you are afraid of God/Goddess; you are afraid of God and Goddessness.

So since so many of us have so much guilt and shame about sex, and our bodies, and nudity, I recommend that you first off get all your chakras open. Get them balanced and open, and get intimate with your chakras. Study them, meditate on them, find where they reside in your body. Concentrate your energy on each one, feel them open like a lotus flower, feel them spin, feel them vibrate. When they open, you can feel a pressure almost like a pain, especially as corresponding glands are reactivated.

You can use crystals as well or any other method, but I recommend you learn to open them and keep them open on your own. Utilize the methods contained in my book "Ascension Masters Toolkit", available on my website, including: activating your antakarana, pranic breathing and tonal chakra opening.

Then when you're all balanced, you can start having lots of sex, if possible, with someone who has similar interests in remaining open and healing their sexuality. You cannot heal your sexuality without having sex, it won’t work. You can certainly change your perceptions about sex, but physically, genetically, karmicly, unless you get busy you will not be healed and free from your old programs.

Have sex everywhere, even in public places, with the possibility of being sprung, to be at peace with the natural desire to make love wherever and when ever it occurs to you to do so. Do things that you would never think of. Have threesomes, group sex, do some bondage, play with whip cream and honey and fruit, etc. Group sex is especially important to get over your possessiveness of your partners sexuality.

I know this doesn't sound very enlightened, but you've got to free yourself first, and discover what you don't like and want to discover what you truly want and like, to discover what true love making is. In regards to group sex, and any sensual/sexual encounter or relationship, don't try to create it, allow Spirit and Synergy to create them for you. The key is to just be open to possibilities, and open to becoming healed, open to experience and expression in it's many permutations and possibilities, and allowing your Spirit complete room to manifest for you whatever you need for your sexual/sensual awakening and healing. But above all - sensuality should be your orientation and focus, not sexuality. Massages and stroking, and kissing, and feathers, and… And intimacy should be your focus, in all encounters in life including sex.

Run around naked all the time, especially in public, like at the beach. This will be good for you and for others around you. Everyone must become at peace with nudity, with self image and self expression. You must get to a place where you don’t care what other people think about your body; you're in the body you’re in, take it or leave it. I am perfect just the way I am. If you don’t like it, it’s your problem with your self image, and your sexuality, not mine.

Let it all hang out, be here in your body now, in all its glory. It is a glorious body that has served you well and continues to do so. Don’t worry about other people's embarrassment, if they don’t like to watch nude bodies then they can look the other way. You’re not the one with the problem because you are free and not ashamed of your body or your sexuality, they are the ones with the problem because they are not free and are ashamed. Stand naked in their presence and have compassion for their suffering.

You are a beautiful being, no matter what you look like, no matter how we as individuals and a society can perceive different looks, body types and shapes to be pleasing, sexually stimulating, or not. Real intimacy, real sex, real love making, has nothing to do with visual sexual imagery, as if the better looking the person, the better the sex will be. This is a fallacy, an illusion and a delusion. Good sex comes from being open in all your chakras; being open to full intimate sexual expression; to being whole, and guiltless, and spontaneous, in the moment, open to love and deep intimacy.

Real sex is not about being turned on from visual stimulation, but by being turned on by internal psychic, spiritual, energetic stimulation – by love. But even though this is not your primary focus to prove your worth, please give yourself permission to be visually beautiful, to being sexy, to being erotic, this is part of the fun. Cast off any guilt or shame about having the desire to be seen as beautiful and sexy, and give yourself permission to be beautiful, and sexy, and to wanting to be seen as beautiful and sexy to your partner and other people. And discover your essence of beauty and natural sexiness that exists within, regardless of what you look like. And give yourself permission to be a completely spiritually connected sexual animal. Be a free spirit on planet Earth! Be the union of Heaven and Earth - a Hu-Man (God-Man / Goddess-Wombman). (Man; Sanscrit, to think)

The Desire to be Treated as Special

The desire to be treated as special, stems from the biggest illusion on planet earth, the big umbrella which contains all other limitations - the lie of unworthiness. This is the biggest structure of separation and limitation that holds this entire agreed upon reality together.

This desire, plain and simply, stems from the illusion we adopted as one of many veils of forgetfulness, that we are unworthy of God's love; that we are lesser than God; that we are being punished, have been cast out of heaven, and that we are in hell. In society this is the quest to prove your worth to yourself and others, that you are worthy of being loved. So with this in mind, the majority of all relationships on planet earth are imaginary, and based not on wholeness, but on separation; on the illusion of unworthiness, rather than your inherent Divinity.

So unless you are awake you will not know what drives you. If you are conscious, than your primary focus is to be divinely guided, and you also desire your relationships to be divinely guided. When your relationships are surrendered to being divinely guided, and you live your life this way completely, from a basis of unconditional love, than unworthiness is seen in its proper context, and your desire to be treated as special transmutes to: I am a divine spiritual essence that deserves to be treated with respect and honor, for we are all divine beings, and all deserve to be treated with respect and honor.

So your relationships have this primary focus; you may slide now and again in your perception, because you are in a very vivid feeling body, one that is still influenced by old world mass consciousness reality, but don't worry, this is just part of balancing your cosmicness and humanness; your personality and your Christ Self; the realization of who’s who in the zoo.

We desire to be treated as special, the most special person in our partner's lives and in the whole world. And we desire to treat our partners as if they are the most special person in our lives and in the world. We are all special, because we have decided to experience a very difficult task, the illusion of separation, experienced within dense physical bodies. And every single being in the creation of All That Is is unique and special in and of themselves. So since everyone is special, then no one is special - the paradox.

As humans we experience some people being more "special" than others, some that we love more than others. As humans this is our experience and it is true for us. But in truth we love everyone equally. Even in the cosmos as spirit beings and light beings, there are some beings that we get along with better. Beings we are more compatible with than others due to many factors that I could describe for hours. Beings that we are drawn to because of who we are and our specific divine essence, and biases, and divine function; our origin, experience, and soul... , simply put - we are in synergy with these beings. (Synergy - synchronis energy). So we don't love anyone more or less than anyone else - we really just like some people more than others.

We also desire to be the most special lovers for our partners. This is the connection between possessiveness and sexuality. We want our partners to feel better with us than anyone else. This of course stems from our own feeling of unworthiness; if they feel better with us than anyone else, then we are especially worthy then. Our real desire is to actually be desired by everyone, this is the nature of jealousy and exclusivity. We want our partner and everyone to desire us above all others, the ultimate proof of our worth.

Beyond these human desires, we as spiritual masters, as God consciousness, as integral parts of all of creation, we deserve to be treated as this that we truly are - Divine Beings. This we naturally do when we know this of our selves. We are able to treat others as divine beings: when we know ourselves as divine beings; and we are able to love others when we know we are love; when you totally, without a doubt, respect and honor self; when you know that you are special, not because you are better than anyone else but because of who you are as an individual unique expression of All That Is. Then we are naturally able to respect and honor others as unique and completely worthy aspects of Gods creation, (no matter how disgusting they can be judged or classified to be as humans).

Divine comparison, this is the key element, comparing people in the right context not from the game of worthy/unworthy, judgementally, but from similar awareness levels; spiritual/human compatibility, based on who is divinely perfect for you to interact with, and many other “divine” reasons.

It is natural to be excited and divinely inspired, in the presence of some people and shall we say, less inspired in the presence of others, because those beings are less awake then ourselves, and operate and emanate from denser vibratory levels of awareness and consciousness.

You must realize the unique specialness of everyone, truthfully not idealistically. Do not be afraid to be judgemental because it may not be a judgement but a classification, which is a true perception of the moment, based on knowing, with no emotional charge or condemnation, just the basic facts.

The more you interact with “like minded” people, people that are awake and awakening, the more you will be able to see the specialness of each person. It will be more difficult to be with people that are still asleep, especially since they will not allow you to see their essence, they will hide to the best of their ability. You will have to look around many obstacles to see their divinity. Eventually you will be able to see through the thickest of walls and no one will be able to hide from you, and everyone will melt in your presence at your magnificence. This is part of everyone’s awakening that is in your life, just to be in your presence - your presence is enough. Part of your awakening is to be in the presence of others. We all wake each other up.

So there is the distortion of everything and there is the truth of everything, and all the degrees in between. As a human, (or more accurately) as a spirit having a human experience, you live in the paradox of existence, walking between the world of fear and judgement, and the world of love and truth. You are enlightening the world of form, embodying the world of love and truth in your human form, creating light body.

Now what to do with these feelings of possessiveness and jealousy? They will only lessen with more awareness and experience of being the wholeness you are. With trying to do nothing with these feelings, like denying them, trying to get rid of them, or selling them to others. You must express your desire for control without trying to control.

You must love your primary partner as if they are the most precious jewel in the universe, while at the same time, knowing they are no more special than the bum on the street. You must realize that there are myriads of totally awesome people on this planet, and that there are people you probably could like a lot more than your partner, and quite possibly could meet them any day. You must free yourself enough to be able to experience these people for they are part of your growth. You must allow yourself freedom from possession and self possession to experience intimacy with those people. If you close yourself off energetically from others, you also limit your own intimate relationships, and of course, your intimacy with Self.

You will naturally be drawn to be as intimate with people as you can within the constraints that we decide upon for our security. By intimacy I am not necessarily referring to sex. Intimacy is something we allow ourselves to experience. How intimate do you allow yourself to get with people, revealing your true self along with all your human frailties? So based on how much emotional security you desire to protect your fragile human ego, will determine how intimate you allow yourself to get with yourself and other people. The same goes for them. Depending on how much they desire to protect their ego, and willingness to reveal true self, will determine how close they will let you get to them.

But there will always be a desire for greater intimacy, so you will naturally be drawn to more and more people that you can relate with more intimately. In other words as you grow and become less guarded, you will seek out people at similar levels of awareness, with similar intimacy allowance levels. This may take the form of going through many relationships, because your awakening and embodiment of the truth and your spiritual growth, and commitment to truth, love and self, are more important than continuing with romantic fantasies of living happily ever after with prince charming or snow white.

You may struggle with letting go of relationships because of your passion for commitment to “making it work”; to creating Divine Union; for peace; for relationship perfection… but your commitment is to truth and love, to self, not to another person and some human agreement based on security, and fear; based on an unconscious agreement to not expose the truth of our eternal spiritual essential perfection.

Your true desire is to be with those most like yourself, those that see the truth as you do, that are as committed to self and awakening as you are. You will seek out relationship partners that have a similar commitment so that you can support each other wholistically, to encourage each other's awakening. To remind each other that you are love and to encourage each other to have fun with this experience called humanness, to not taking life so seriously.

You will only desire to spend time with those that encourage your true self and divinity; who recognize their own; that have had an experience of their divinity and are awakening to true self. You will encounter people at many levels of awakening and awareness. You will be drawn to work with those that truly desire your assistance and love basking in your light. People who don't try to steal your light, who know that your Light encourages their light to shine just that much brighter. People that know they help you shine by their support of your divinity.

You are naturally drawn to beings that see you as a master because you see the master in others, and the mastery of others. People that you are not interested in, that do not welcome truth, you do not judge these people because they are not awake and have not dropped their veils of denial, their timing is just different to yours; their list of experiences is different to yours; their process and perception of reality is unique unto them. Instead, you delight in the individualism of humanity, and honor wherever they are at in their consciousness as being perfect for their growth and experience, and for the growth and experience of all of humanity. You respect and encourage their unique essence, perception and experience of reality.

By seeing beyond the veils, you live a masterful life, not experiencing abusive situations because you know there is no such thing as victim, and everything in your life is for your growth and experience as a soul and cosmic adventurer.

All the rules of humanness are destined for demolition as the age of light approaches and you manifest/embody true, divine, light/love relationships. You will be required by yourself to break all the rules of conduct of mass consciousness in order to be and live true self. You will require yourself to be intuitive and follow this implicitly and naturally see the truth of every situation beyond any lies trying to hide this truth. You will naturally be outrageous and speak the truth in every moment, no matter how you could be judged by yourself or others for being such an upstart.

We are all Friends - The Paradox of Dependence/Independence

As masters we must remember that we are all friends, we must operate from this base of truth. We are all in this together. This is the crux of what we are experiencing now, what we are going into, the new millennia. The millennia of light where we all cooperate because we know we are all one and do not need to compete with each other, do not need to depend on each other, nor be independent from each other. Our dependence on each other is the natural way of things. We are all dependent on each other because we 'are' each other. And we are independent of each other because we are unique individual expressions of All That Is.

Generally, people live at the extremes of the polarities: radically co-dependent with its inherent possessiveness, or radically independent with a rejection of intimacy, or back and forth, not knowing which direction to go and muddling around in the middle ground. Both polarities are illusions, we are separate and One, interdependently independent - a paradox. How can you remain open to love and growth and spiritual assistance, if you cling to radical independence or co-dependence and avoid the demands of true relationship?

The old world clings to the extremes of the polarities of dependence and independence, taking possessiveness to the extreme of even actual ownership. The tribal pressures are intense. It also clings to the extreme of independence to avoiding intimacy, for emotional “survival”. To counteract this, we in the new age are seeking a balance, this was fostered in the 60’s with free love, free sex, and free expression; being non-possessive, independent yet communally dependent individuals, relying on friends for stability and support.

Balance must be created and maintained to healthily make the transition to higher levels of existence. We must discover healthy dependence by revealing our neurotic dependency, our possessiveness, our desire to maintain security so that we will not feel separate from our partner, or anyone for that matter, and not feel separation from Spirit.

We must also discover healthy independence by revealing our need to resist status quo and the oppression of this “normalcy”, and whole heartedly express and be who we are. We must understand where we are trying to be independent to counteract our feelings of being trapped by society, and not being allowed to be individuals. Your safety may be threatened, but within your beingness you are always you, no matter what society tries to impose upon you. You must be truthful with yourself, as always. You must realize that you are dependent, healthily and wholistically dependent on friends, family, lovers, guides, teachers, gurus etc.

You are wholly alone and unique, an individual creative expression of All That Is. You need no one, but please admit it that you have a natural need and desire to commune with your brothers and sisters, working together for the greater good. Dependency based on truth not powerlessness; independence based on your uniqueness, not upon radical desire to break away from feelings of powerless and helplessness.

We must admit it when we experience helplessness and powerlessness. We must admit it when we need a little help from our lovers, family, friends, gurus, guides, and teachers. We must go deep into our loneliness to know our true unique individualness; to know complete aloneness; the gifts of aloneness; then to discover we are never alone.

We must go deep into our feelings of dependence, and admit that we do not want to do it all alone, that we truly want help. We must discover our uniqueness, our true sense of self and always realize this uniqueness, while always remaining open to higher possibilities of expression, and being, and entrainment, by higher sources of influence.

No one is truly independent, we are dependent on everything: earth, air, fire, water, chi/prana, sun, plants, animals, bugs, plankton, algae, bacteria, space, angels, nature devas… Recognize your dependence on all the aspects of life and creation. Even someone who is fully realized is not fully independent, as if they are an exclusive God, (this is the illusion of the Lucifer rebellion). A fully realized being knows and admits how radically dependent s/he is on everything, and everyone, this is the essence of Oneness. But they also know their uniqueness and sovereignty, because they know they are an individual expression of All That Is. They know that they are the entire universe expressing itself at a single point.

Individuality – Independence

As beings integrate their personality/ego, and open to their divinity, and to the essence of oneness, there is a tendency to adopt one end of the paradox to an extreme of now rejecting individuality, of rejecting and denying separation as an illusion, for an ideal that we are all one. Idealism being the key factor here. If it is not real for you, truly embodied, then even oneness can be an illusion within your consciousness, and you are living a delusion, one that is no more real than "separation is all there is".

In other words, we are only one and not separate, the old extreme completely denying oneness, and the new extreme denying separation. Separation is an illusion, but individuality is not. The truth is, we are One and separate, this is the paradox of reality and life in the cosmos - we are all part of the same Isness, and we are individual unique expressions of this Isness. So separation "exists" within the Oneness, within the wholeness of All That Is.

This oneness addiction is a natural progression to accepting the wholeness of All That Is, the paradox of oneness and separation. As a species we have gone so far into separation that we typically go to the opposite end of the polarity to somehow make up for getting lost and for acting stupid. But it was all perfect. The next step is to embrace individuality, true individuality, not the illusion we have been living, that being the identity of our egos, a false self, a false individual, a radical separate self.

So I encourage awakening masters to discover their true individuality, to discover and delight in their uniqueness. To experience God Goddess All That Is, you must know self, because self is that. Idealistically knowing oneness won’t do it for you, to know oneness, you must know oneness, you must know self. This is true ascension, true enlightenment, true at-One-ment.

Many masters will direct you to discover that which has no identity. This is necessary to get beyond ego/false identity, a very necessary step. You can have, and hopefully will have, an experience whereby you realize you are beyond description, beyond identity; where you feel your connection to All That Is, to Oneness. But you experience this through you, you experience this oneness through your experience, therefor your experience of this oneness is unique to you, your unique experience of life.

You cannot know God by transcending self, as if self does not exist; you exist, to believe otherwise is illusion, and dishonoring to you as a unique creation of All That Is, and dishonoring to the wholeness of us all. You can only know God by truly being Self, by being that unique expression of God. God did not create an individual you so that you could leave you for some oneness thing, as if you can un-exist yourself by becoming one with All That Is, (you already are one with All That Is). An ideal of oneness is still a separate thing, so the strategy doesn't work. What does un-exist is the false you that you thought you were, this is all, but your unique spiritual essence has always existed and always will. This is the real transcendence, the embracement of personality/ego, to the extreme that it is loved/enlightened/fused with the true divine identity, the GodSelf, creating a new being - the Christ Self. And co-dependent relationship is also an attempt to obtain oneness, to obtain something that you already have. This type of relationship is dishonoring to individuality, the gift of our existence, our creation.

(For additional information on this subject, please see my article - Oneness - "The Illusion / Reality of Separation and Oneness -The Process of Awakening"


Any agreement you make with "yourself", or another being, is giving away or taking power. Relationships are typically based on agreements and compromise, on the trade or theft of energy. In life, in all relationships, do not give your power away to anyone, for you will eventually reject them and hate them, because they are your oppressor; they are in control of your life force; they will become the enemy. Your best friends and lovers who you put in a position of control over you, who you have agreements with, who you have a co-dependent relationship with, will become your weirdest enemies, because you will love them and hate them at the same time. They will be the lovers that you resent. This is the typical pattern of co-dependent relationships.

This self imposed dependency that we agree upon in relationships, complete with its rules and possessiveness, is a misguided attempt at intimacy. It is indicated, synthesized, exterior intimacy rather than real open, revelatory, exposed, raw inner intimacy. We settle for a trumped up surrogate to true intimacy based on an agreement to not reveal our insecurities and fears. This is not intimacy, it is mutually agreed upon enslavement. Protecting our fears and not exposing weakness is not a loving expression. What is more loving, revealing the truth, or protecting the lies, the fears and the illusions?

This dependency is an attempt to possess love. All possessiveness of any kind, especially of a person, and especially their sexuality, is an attempt to possess love. Love of course, cannot be possessed. You can possess the illusion of love by creating a facade of security, by creating a form of relationship that helps you believe in the illusion of security, ie. Marriage, but of course, love has no form and cannot be possessed. Anything that can be possessed is no thing at all, it is an illusion, there fore nothing can be possessed, least of all love.

So your intimacy surrogates will not last and will fade away with all the other illusions on planet earth, and finally you will be left with only Self and All That Is. The beauty of relationship is that we naturally become possessive to bring up all our worst fears of separation. With this we can be hurt to our core, having to face things we have avoided our whole lives, or lifetimes. It is brilliant in its capacity to reveal the truth, to things about yourself you would not have faced otherwise.

The wounds that are exposed have been there since you arrived in this dimension brought with you from thousands of lifetimes across space time and dimension. Revealing them opens you to realizing your connection to source, something you thought you lost. And this woundedness connects you to humanity because everyone experienced and experiences the same thing.

The old illusionary, romantic, dependent relationship, provided a shield for your insecurities, a place to hide from your feelings of unworthiness, powerlessness and helplessness. It encourages defensiveness. True relationship, the relationship of Heaven on Earth, of the new Civilization of Love and Light, provides no such “protection”. It does not allow you to hide from self, or allow you to hide your magnificence under a guise of insecurity and fear. It does not support your need for unnecessary defences, for it reveals the truth that there is nothing to defend against. This new relationship, real co-creative relationship, provides a safe place for you to be yourself; to not have to create relationships to feel safe; to not have to worry about being abused for expressing your beingness - instead you are wholeheartedly encouraged to express your whole beingness.

You must take responsibility, fully and completely for your own perception of reality and truth, standing strong and firm that what you know is the truth, but you must remain open to higher possibilities, always. You are not a victim to your partner or anyone, nothing they say or do can actually affect you in a negative way. It may hurt and you may feel many things, but every experience is for your growth and further awakening.

Every relationship you have with anything, in regards to your perception of this relationship, is in direct correlation to your perception and relationship with self and All That Is. Will you empower yourself with your manifestations, and relationships, or will you be a victim to them? It is your choice.


Marriage is an illusionary bond motivated by fear and based on two other illusions exclusivity and ownership. Marriage is typically based in fantasy – we will be together forever, there is no other...., this is pure fantasy. There are many other beautiful people that you could or would like and love just as much, or better, than that person, even your husband/wife/partner/lover…; you just haven’t met them yet, or you’re not open to meeting them for fear of destroying your security (or insecurity). If your relationship can crumble so easily then it is not a real relationship, founded in truth, or any real divine love/synergy.

I am exploring and exposing the distortions here, there can of course be real marriage, real divine union, which is the true essence of marriage. But we must expose the lies first so that Divine Union can then actually be possible, and have fertile ground to germinate, grow, flower and mature.

Traditionally, in the past, men "owned" women, this is why fathers give their daughters away, as if they were formerly their possession to now be owned by their new lord and master - their husband. Even the verbal usage of the word husband has this connotation with its meaning being - husband: to manage prudently. Husbandry: the control or judicious use of resources. The definition of Wife being: a woman acting in a specified capacity.

As mass consciousness has progressed and as women have empowered themselves, they then gave themselves permission to also own their husbands, but of course this was the same delusion, and not real self empowerment, only power over. So typically, marriage is a mutually co-dependent contract of ownership; emotional, sexual, love exclusivity and ownership by the partners. The contract is a promise to guard against any possible suffering due to each partner being alone, and not being abandoned later in life to subsequently being alone again. This bond is completely based on unworthiness and fear of separation.

True Relationship is not based on fear but love and oneness, the knowing that separation is an illusion and regardless if you are together physically or not, you are always together. It is based on the realization that we are all sovereign entities; that we are all loved, and that we are Love; that we do not need anyone to love us because we know that everyone loves us, they just don’t necessarily know it. We do not need others to love us to prove to us that we are worthy, and to prove to others that we have worth.

All contracts, all agreements are based in fear and are therefore illusions, they are self imposed prisons. Free yourself from prison and release all contracts and agreements with everyone and everything in your life right now, and every contract and agreement you have ever made in any lifetime, that may still be binding you energetically. Free yourself to be the sovereign Divine spiritual essence that you are. Free yourself to experience oneness rather than separation, to experience co-creation rather than co-dependence. You have already experienced separation, it is now time for oneness. Be it now, do it now! Live it now! This will also free everyone else in your life and lives, so that they may be free from these contracts and agreements, so that they can be the sovereign entities that they are, and follow their spirits without hesitation.

Marriage is plain and simply, giving your power away, giving your self away to another for their keeping. You place your heart and sexuality in their hands. This is folly, your heart and genitals are your own, and no one else’s. In marriage, and co-dependent relationship, you give your body, your soul, your love, your security, your sexuality…, away to another; these things are yours alone to do with as your please, so you can give these things away if you want, but it is an illusion because no one can own these things.

Marriage is typically all compromise. Compromise is an illusion based on fear. Compromise is giving your power away. True relationship is not about compromise, you do not give any part of yourself away. Unconditional love possesses not and expects nothing. It gives freely without any expectation of return; it gives because it is it’s natural way to do so.

Experience another because it is a joyful experience to be together; because you evoke and allow each others magnificence; because growth is possible and a joy to experience with another. Be together for the Co-Creation of Heaven on Earth, not for fear of being alone. Be together because it is synergetic to be. Be apart because it is synergetic to be apart.

Compromise creates conflict and confusion. No one really wants to compromise and give any part of themselves away, but they do it anyway for security and fear of losing their partner or friend, or parent, or job…. It creates conflict because it is against your nature and we always want to resist control over us.

Compromise creates confusion because you are not able to be yourself, you must be all kinds of things for everyone else but nothing for yourself. Confusion only exists when you are walking the fence, afraid to move, afraid to go back, afraid to go forward. So I recommend never being wishy washy, go ahead and commit to full and complete mastery, and in every decision of life, go ahead and commit to that decision if it was the wrong one, then change your mind, (please see my article "Decisions, Decisions"

Commitment and Intimacy

Real commitment is not based on possession. Real commitment is based on your commitment to self, shared with another who has a similar commitment to self. Real commitment is not based on any form of agreement where by you promise to not be attracted to other humans on psycho sexual spiritual levels; that you are not supposed to nor would you feel any need for anyone else, (because this one person completely fulfills you); as if your partner is the only one in the whole universe for you - the proverbial fairy tale.

We are with each other for the experience of it; the experience of ourselves and each other; for growth, for expression, for experience, for fun. Real commitment has no agreement that says: "we will be in a dependent relationship so that we will not experience our feelings of separation; we will create a facade, an illusion that we are one, that we are complete, because we have each other and need no other". (Dependence to feel independence). "We will especially not share our sexuality, nor our sexual energy with anyone else, so that we can maintain the illusion that the two of us are one".

Sexual energies are always flowing in and out to everyone. Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, you are constantly relating on sexual levels with everyone on planet earth. Intimacy is related to sexuality; allowing anyone into your life on intimate levels is connected to sexuality, the chakric vibration of intimacy. This does not mean you actually have physical sex with everyone, but sexually you are relating to everyone.

Within our personality, consciousness and energy bodies, we are feeling everyone out to see if we can be friends or lovers with them. We are feeling them out to see what level they are operating at in terms of spiritual physical awareness; to see if we can be intimate with them, to see if they can be truthful with us, and allow us to be truthful with them. On a physical sexual level, we psychically let everyone know how intimate we would like to get with them, all the time. We all crave intimacy on all levels, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sexually, - everyone.

Intimacy is all there is, for we are all one; you are me and I am you. We are naturally intimate, it is merely a matter of how much you individually want to allow that intimacy to be felt, expressed and received. Behind it all is love. We are all love.

"In the world of beingness, there is nothing but love; and in the world of doingness, there is nothing but relationship.” Alarius.

The allowance of love through relationship is intimacy. You cannot awaken without intimacy, intimacy with yourself and intimacy with others. The new civilization will not manifest without intimacy. There is nothing but intimacy on planet earth. There is nothing but intimacy in the whole universe of All That Is. Everything is about intimacy. All relationship is about intimacy. All oneness and all separation consciousness, and their manifestations are because of intimacy, or lack there of.

Your relationship to anything is dependent on your ability to be intimate with it. Your level of mastery is dependent on your willingness to be intimate with everything; self, spirit, people, nature, God, Angels.... If you want to know something, to be at peace with something that you are not at peace with, you must get intimate with it. This is the key to peace on planet earth and our adversarial relationships with each other and anything. We must dive into our fears, expose them, illuminate them, and heal them - intimacy is the key.


If you want to get beyond your fear of anything, you must get intimate with it. If you want to get beyond your fear of another person, sex, race or culture, then you must get intimate with these people. If you want to get beyond your fear of spiders or snakes, then you must get intimate with spiders and snakes. Pick them up, watch them, commune with their vibration, kiss them, shnuggle them. If you want to get beyond your fear of water, you've got to get intimate with it; dive in, see if you really will drown, or if you float, or if you get rescued by dolphins…

Any fear you have, you must embrace it and get intimate with it so that you can discover what the fear really is, what is behind it? What are you really afraid of: separation, death, pain, abandonment?…

With the law of attraction/reflection, we naturally draw our fears to us to become at peace with them. This usually happens on unconscious levels, and typically, humans react as if they are victims. But they are only victims to their own manifestations, to their own unconscious self manifesting things to them for their growth and awakening. Humans are given chances over and over again to experience their fears to embrace them and become stronger, more aware of true self. This is always your choice, run from your fears or embrace them. Be enslaved by your fears or be empowered by them. This is the gift of this reality, this world, this universe. This is the gift of free will, to choose whatever reality you want.

So, live as a victim, unconsciously manifesting your fears, or live as a master, fully and consciously embracing your fears to realize that nothing controls you, only the heartbeat of God/Goddess. I am always chuckling and in wonderment as to how we always manifest our fears to us. My friends who are conscious, also notice this synchrony and capitalize on it to continuously be empowering themselves, to vanquish one more fear and know self that much more. I am always impressed when I witness this type of mastery, and have compassion when people continue to cling to their position of victimhood and stay in their cave of security/insecurity.

All conflict is a manifestation of this scenario, fears wanting to be resolved; you can resolve them or continue on this karmic path of fear forever. Every situation that has manifested in your life is there for your empowerment. You have never been a victim. You manifested everything in your life. Your choice, say no, or say yes to certain manifestations: yes, I will deal with that one, because it will empower me; or no, I will not deal with that because it will hurt me. As a master exploring fear, you must determine if this is an experience of empowerment, something to embrace because it serves your growth to do so, or if it is something that you are done with, that has served you well up to this point in your mastery of limitation, but it does not serve your mastery of divine expression; something that is complete, that you are at peace with, if so, it is your choice to say no to it, because you are done with it and if you allow it to stay in your life, you are abusing yourself.

The Nutshell

So in a nutshell, all relationship, no matter its form or permutation, teaches us where we are separate in our consciousness, with anything or anyone. To the degree that we allow and embrace all possibilities of relationship: physicality, energy, life, reality…, as all being fabulous wonders of the workings of the universe, as all being wondrous Divine Creations of the Isness, source, God/Goddess, IsIs, consciousness - will be the degree that we are able to live, experience, embody, and manifest this Unity/Christ Consciousness in our lives, on planet earth and in the universes of creation.

The ability for people to be able to manifest and live Divine Relationship, with individual partners, family, friends, communities, states, countries, the entire civilization of humanity, the planet and the entire creation of relationship - will be to the degree that each individual is able to embody and live this Christ Consciousness that they truly are.

People are not able to live Divine Relationship, and manifest Unity Consciousness in their lives and relationships, because everyone is still playing the game of possession and exclusivity, and the fact that people do not have the ability to really truly be fully present and intimate first of all with themselves, then with another individual. So there is no ability to share their partners with another person, or persons, on any level, because they are not able to share themselves with others, not even their partner. Their relationships are ones of agreement, insecurity and dependence; using each other for fulfillment rather than realizing fulfillment within.

When one becomes secure in one's own beingness, then you have the ability to be fully present and intimate with another, and with another, and another…; and there is no need to possess and control another because they are you; and your ultimate desire is for their wholeness, sovereignty, freedom and empowerment. This is the creation of individual ecstasy, group harmony and the Co-Creation of Heaven on Earth. This is how it is done, by BEing.

"I don’t need to possess you, because I am you" – Beautiful All


Yours in Divine Union,

I AM ZaKaiRan



(Lak'ech - Maya for “I am you and you are me”).

Reference for chakra information: "Swara Yoga, Tantric Science of Brain Breathing" by Swami Satyananda Saraswati. Satyananda Ashram.

©ZaKaiRan AatKa'Nui SheeHan

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